Teach, Teach!

From an email to Sarah:

I just wanted to note some ideas I just had for additional tech workshops I might develop in the future. Why am I writing you? Because I feel that I need to tell someone while these ideas are still fresh and exciting to me, and hopefully emailing them to you will create some sort of obligation on my part to actually develop the workshop and pay volunteers with help from a payroll check template software.

When I presented my sample workshop this spring, I tried to integrate the use of Furl and Bloglines, which we all felt was too much for one workshop. What I just realized this morning, is that I could design an additional workshop that shows how to have students use Furl, Bloglines, and their own student blog as tools for developing the traditional research paper or the more hip research project, check out here.

Bloglines allows students to search others’ feeds and have a constant influx of new information fed into their own customized feeds. It also allows them to share their feeds with others (great if you’re having students research in teams). Furl allows students to save bookmarks as well as to archive webpages, and to make comments/notes on the bookmarks/archived pages. Again, it also allows them to share their collection of bookmarks with others, which is great for a collaboration. Lastly, by helping students to create their own blogs, which could double as e-portfolios, students could use the blog to post and organize their research notes, to share those with other students, and to post drafts of the eventual writing product. Other students could comment on those posts, offering critique, suggestions, support, or asking questions.

All of these technologies offer collaboration as a key component, which I think is a critical piece of research that traditional research methods have neglected.

What do you think?

Just as I think I’ve made a decision, and a difficult one at that, our school board decides to confuse the issue by “partially funding” my previous position for next year. What does that mean? Your guess is as good as mine. There are currently 111 people with my job as instructional lead teacher in our district. That costs the district $7 million per year. They have funded the position at $5.5 million for next year, so clearly, some positions will have to be cut. So how will that look? No idea, but my guess is that some positions will be reduced to half day ILT, half day teaching positions, which would help the district in a number of ways–they would not only save money on the ILT program, but they would regain some strong teachers in the classroom.

My gut tells me I should probably stick with the Graduation Specialist position. Something tells me I’m supposed to do this new job, even as I fear that I won’t be very good at it. But it will get me helping kids again, and that’s something I haven’t done much of this year.

One thing I’ve realized, though, is that I’ve had more significant moments of success this year than I have had in many years in the classroom. Here are a few that I want to record for moments when I’m feeling discouraged:

* I helped a student get his diploma. He could not pass the science section of the Graduation Test, and I helped him by following up, making sure all his documentation was in order, and arguing his case at the county hearing. Both he and his parents made the effort to thank me in person. It may be the most important thing I’ve ever done as an educator.
* I helped support a struggling new math teacher who was ready to quit just a few weeks ago. This week, she came by to tell me that out of 54 Algebra students, 50 had passed the state end of course test. This is an astounding achievement for any math teacher, let alone a first year teacher. I’m so incredibly proud of her.
* I am working with a student who was placed incorrectly into an honors geometry class. The student knew she was misplaced, as did the teacher, the dept. chair, and the guidance counselor. Yet no one did anything to help her as she quietly failed the class. Two weeks ago, I started my campaign, talking to the counselors, the administrators, the dept. chair, the teacher, lobbying for them to allow her to get credit for the on-level course. I spoke with the student this week, and yesterday she ran up to me and hugged me because she had passed the end of course test. Now all she has to do is pass the final for the on level course, and she can receive credit. It’s sad that with all the adults who knew about this injustice, none of them had taken one step to correct it for this child.

I seem to be treading water, still not swimming but at least I’m holding my own in the pool for now. It’s tough. I’ve pretty much decided to take the Graduation Specialist position, but I’m not going to feel good about it until a) they post the position, b) I see my name next to it in writing. Until then, I feel insecure and scared as hell.

Today was my first full day back at work since I heard that my job was being eliminated. It was gratifying to feel valued by so many of the teachers. They were supportive and outraged–a lovely combination right now. One of those teachers really helped me to feel better about the new position I might be assuming–she pointed out several obvious things about how I could do the job, some of which were specific to me and my skills, and it made me feel a lot better. It also made the job seem possible, like something I could actually do.

Now I’m just mentally and physically exhausted. How do people do this, I wonder? How do people look for jobs, choose to quit without a job lined up, on a regular basis? Because I know some people do–they’re fearless and self-assured. Or maybe they just like change. Oh, if only that could be me.

It’s the word I would use to describe my life right now. At the moment, everything feels like too much, more than I, or others, should be expected to bear. I’m not even sure where to start.

On Friday morning, at roughly 6:30 AM, I checked my email only to discover that my job is being eliminated due to budget cuts. There were no warnings. We had not been told to expect it or plan for it. Just boom! My job, which I had only recently grown to like, is gone.

I went to work and my principal immediately offered me a teaching position in our school. I don’t want it. It just hurts to think about all the things I put into place this year disappearing. And I don’t think I could bear to watch it happen over the course of next year.

The dept. chair at my old school emailed me to offer me a position as the newspaper sponsor/English teacher. I met with him that afternoon to discuss it. It’s an option, but I can’t get past the feeling that it would mean I’m going backwards. Add to that the fact that I didn’t feel valued there anyway at the end, and it makes it even harder to deal with.

So I have an interview lined up for Mon. morning at the new high school, one that is just opening next year. I’m trying to think positively, trying to talk myself into getting excited about opening a new school, having new challenges, and meeting new people. But the truth is, I just want to keep the job I have now. And that’s not an option.

Add to this issue the following additional stresses:

* My mom started chemo again on Fri. (yes, the same day I lost my job)
* My grandfather died on Fri. (yes, the same day I lost my job)

Do I sound self-pitying? Probably. Do I feel that I have a right? Damn straight.