I seem to be treading water, still not swimming but at least I’m holding my own in the pool for now. It’s tough. I’ve pretty much decided to take the Graduation Specialist position, but I’m not going to feel good about it until a) they post the position, b) I see my name next to it in writing. Until then, I feel insecure and scared as hell.

Today was my first full day back at work since I heard that my job was being eliminated. It was gratifying to feel valued by so many of the teachers. They were supportive and outraged–a lovely combination right now. One of those teachers really helped me to feel better about the new position I might be assuming–she pointed out several obvious things about how I could do the job, some of which were specific to me and my skills, and it made me feel a lot better. It also made the job seem possible, like something I could actually do.

Now I’m just mentally and physically exhausted. How do people do this, I wonder? How do people look for jobs, choose to quit without a job lined up, on a regular basis? Because I know some people do–they’re fearless and self-assured. Or maybe they just like change. Oh, if only that could be me.