Teach, Teach!

I truly must be, because somehow I found myself deciding to attempt NaBloPoMo (short for National Blog Posting Month), a take-off on NaNoWriMo.  NoBloPoMo is a bit less ambitious than its elder sibling (cousin?), as it simply requires those who dare to post to their blogs daily every day during the month of November. As relatively simple as that might sound, one quick look at the infrequency of my posts over the last year (or two) would prove to you what a drastic and herculean task this might prove to be for moi.  I’m fairly certain I won’t make it, but then I’ll feel pretty disappointed in myself.

One thing that is on my side is my brand new iMac–and I do mean “BRAND NEW” as in just-pulled-it-out-of-the-box-still-waiting-for-all-the-software-updates-to-install-and-I-sure-do-love-the-way-my-husband-is-salivating-with-envy kind of new.

It’s beautiful–far too pretty to be a mere computer. It truly is decorative. I’m so lucky.

1 blog  post down, only 29 more to go!

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I’ve been being spammed relentlessly for the last week or so. Therefore, for the time being, I’m moderating ALL comments. None will appear until I approve them. Sorry.

I had a long meeting (over 2 hours) with my new boss yesterday. It was really helpful to actually talk through the issues of my job, and to have some feedback and guidance. It’s interesting to me that her management style is the direct opposite of her predecessor’s, who had the reputation as a bit of a micro-manager. In contrast, my current boss is laidback and pretty hands-off when it comes to my position. She waits for me to come to her with questions, issues, etc. Most of the time that’s probably a good thing, but I do find myself wishing I had a bit more guidance since I am not only new to this position but also new to the way that the central office “works.”

One of the items on my lengthy agenda yesterday was my vision of what my position might become, one that supports remedial classroom teachers. Of course, the tricky part of that is that there is absolutely ZERO funding for remedial education. No money for supplies, training, nothing. Obviously, any training I provided to them myself would be “free”, but paying for me to get the training to redeliver is obviously not. I admitted to boss lady that at this point I am merely treading water, trying to learn the job and to lay a foundation so that next year I might be in a position to actually help these teachers. It was reassuring that she admitted that she, too, is just trying to survive in her own first year as a director.

I also had an epiphany over the weekend during my trek to Tennessee for graduate school. I have a mental two-year plan that has been gradually taking shape over the last two months–meaning, I plan to remain in my current position for two years. I’ve been flirting with the notion of eventually moving into administration, partly because I find that I miss being part of a school. However, this weekend it suddenly occurred to me that such a move would be settling for me. The things I really enjoy doing are notably absent from the jobs of administrators. I like presenting, teaching, planning to present and teach, and I like doing all of that with and for teachers. I love it when something I shared can make someone else’s professional life easier or their teaching better. I also love working with technology and assisting teachers in integrating that technology into their classrooms.

The dilemma: there is a position in our district that would allow me to do all of the above. I think I would really enjoy it. However, it requires a 240 day contract as opposed to the 191 day contract I currently have. In addition, the pay comes out to roughly $60 per day LESS than I currently make. So I would take a pay cut, and I would work 2.5 months MORE per year. Needless to say, these details make the position less than ideal.

So again, I’m treading water. Keeping my eyes open and focused, my arms and legs gently moving, and hoping to see land soon.

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Kathy Sierra’s latest post resonates with me in a way I’m sure she didn’t intend.

The problem with my new job is that I have entered the Suck Zone.

Moving into a new job is much like upgrading software (the topic of Sierra’s post). And the truth is, most people I know in education choose not to move on (or up) because they don’t want to go back to the Suck Zone.

Teaching is SOOO hard. It takes years (I’d say at least 4) to reach competency–the point at which you no longer feel you are doing irrevocable damage to children on a daily basis.

Once you do reach that level, it’s awfully difficult to choose to sink like a rock to the bottom of the competency spectrum again. In my case, I made that choice last year, and, through no fault of my own, have been forced to start over again this year. And truly, it sucks.

I don’t want to be a person who is wishing away her life. However, I simply cannot wait for the day when I actually know what the hell I’m doing, who I’m doing it for, and why.  On that day, I will bid farewell to the Suck Zone.

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I attended yet another meeting this morning, as well as one yesterday afternoon. Both left me feeling overloaded and also blocked.

I keep reminding myself that at this time last year, I felt much the same. I remember sitting in meetings and thinking, “I have no idea what they’re talking about or what I’m supposed to do about it. Why on earth did they hire me?” I’ve had very similar reactions during most of the meetings I’ve attended so far this year. People refer to my “program” as though there actually is one. Hello? I’m the first person who has ever had this job, which did not exist 23 days ago. The only program I’ve seen evidence of is sketchy compliance with State Board of Education rules regarding remedial services for students.

As I discussed in my last post, one of the difficulties is identifying those students who are at risk and who might qualify for remedial services. It’s not so difficult in the middle schools, where standardized tests are given annually, with results that are broken down by strands and standards. However, in the high schools, there’s a marked lack of standardized testing in general, and even less that yields usable data. While most teachers know who’s in trouble within the first few days of class, what they don’t know is why. What skills or content is the student lacking? What strategies work best to assist that student? What resources are available to assist the teacher in providing the necessary differentiation for these struggling students?

All of these are questions we were charged with answering this morning in my meeting. I posed the possibility of teacher-generated performance assessments, something my old school will implement this year and which Ms. C. also suggested. The problem with such assessments is that 1) they would not be standard and available to all teachers across the district, and 2) they would not have been tested to see that they are indeed valid assessments. As one supervisor remarked, “Bad assessments yield bad data.” So what now?

I’m frustrated. And feeling stuck. Surely any moment now, I’ll have one of those teacher’s epiphanies where the answer floats up from the depths of who knows where. Any. Moment. NOW.

I’m waiting.

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Today I attended my first big meeting in my new job as a Teacher on Special Assignment. In this position, I have been charged with developing a framework for remedial instruction at the high school level, which could pose quite a challenge. At the meeting today, our “essential question” was “What does the data tell you about your program?”

My dilemma–there really is no data for my program since my program doesn’t exactly exist.

This concerns me on several levels and also creates some rather scary professional challenges. First, I now feel that part of my job will be to determine how I can collect data. It’s a little daunting to consider creating a program that has no real data to guide its creation.

One of the great things about writing, however, is how it leads me to new insights. As I write this, I realize that I do have some data, it’s just not very useful and certainly not inspiring. A quick review:

I have the graduation test results for those students who retested this summer. A depressingly low number passed. There was little to indicate that those who attended summer test prep sessions did much better. So, that’s an issue.

I have 8th grade CRCT scores for incoming freshman.

What I don’t have, and what teachers really need, is any data that identifies at risk students once they’re in the high school setting. After 8th grade, the next large scale measure doesn’t occur until the end of the junior year, which is just too late. So what can we do?

Lots to think about…

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Okay, I haven’t been blogging regularly for over a year and I finally figured out what the problem is.  I’m suffering a blogging identity crisis.

When I was a classroom teacher, it all seemed so simple. I had a blog for professional reflection and I had a personal blog where I talked about my family life and anything else that interested me.  I didn’t really have any difficulty deciding what to post or which blog to post to.  Everything was blissfully clear.

Cut to last fall, when I began my first year as a “former classroom teacher.” Suddenly, my professional issues seemed, well, uninteresting. I knew that I didn’t have the same connection to the educational blogosphere since I was no longer in the trenches. Also, it was clear that the most interesting items I might have to blog about professionally were also ones that I had better keep under wraps if I intended to keep my job.

Likewise, my personal blog withered. I felt nervous, putting myself out there. I wondered what might happen if my blog were discovered by those I worked with/for. And all that worry killed the writing.

So now I am starting up again–or trying to. I am once again in a new position, and once again, not in the classroom. It will be challenging to blog in a way that is interesting and not job-threatening. Honestly, I’m not sure I’m up to the task.  But I’m going to give it a try. Starting today.

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Unfortunately, as much as I like Flock (and I do like it), the blogging piece does not allow for upload of files (although Flock does feature cool integration of Flickr and Photobucket for photos). So it looks as though I’m back to using the Performancing add-on with Firefox for now, though I really like Flock. One thing I’m enjoying with Flock is its integrated RSS reader–much easier than its counterpart add-on for Firefox (IMHO). And I actually like the blogging piece as well–maybe they’ll add ftp upload soon, so that Flock can become my new browser of choice.

I’m testing out the built-in blogging component to Flock.  Steve Dembo recommended it and I have to say the other aspects of Flock are impressive indeed.  I particularly like the built-in RSS reader.  I’m forcing myself to start using RSS because I need to “get it” so that I can share its uses with other teachers.

Blogged with Flock

This is a test of the Performancing extension for the Firefox browser. If this works, it’s an absolute genius addition to this browser.

It works! Genius!

So, an update on my working life: I have accepted a job. Yeah, I’m employed! I was contacted by the Director of High School Curriculum and offered a position as a Teacher on Special Assignment for Remedial High School Instruction. To be truthful, I don’t know how to do much of anything that the position requires; however, the curriculum director, who was once my administrator many moons ago, feels confident that I can do it all and that I am discounting my on the job experience from this past year (which may be true).

The scary part is that I do not know who my boss will be. The current curriculum director has taken a position as principal at a middle school. Yesterday was her last day. There is a school board meeting this morning at 10:00 AM and it will be interesting to see what the results of their “reorganization” efforts will be. Fortunately for me, I have a job for next year, regardless of what they decide.