Teach, Teach!

Right now, I am enjoying the holidays for a bit longer than most because I am “off contract.” As I may have mentioned before, in my new job I work a flex schedule. I am required to work most of the summer, but since I’m still on a teacher contract, I take extra days off during the year to compensate. Right now, it’s great. We’ll see how much I love it once summer arrives.

Earlier this week I had to come in for a meeting, even though I was “off contract.” It wasn’t a big deal, but it did consume roughly 4 hours of my time. I didn’t mind because I felt that I really needed to be there, and there would not be another opportunity to speak to that group until February.

However, in the context of the meeting, one of the participants brought up the fact that they’ve had duties added to their jobs that require them to be available to work off contract during the summer. She flatly stated that she would not be doing so. These duties are directly related to my own position, and I don’t like it either. Unfortunately, I’m not really a power player and don’t have the authority to pay them for the work. In fact, I have NO BUDGET, whatsoever, with which to do my job. It sucks.

I tried to diplomatically address the issue, but it was a tough sell. And it brought me to one of those age-old internal conflicts. I’ve wrestled with this issue within myself so many times, and I never seem to come up with a win-win solution.

As teachers, we are constantly working “off contract.” Every weekend that we spend grading papers, every time we stay after to tutor a student, every evening we spend planning the next day’s lesson–all of that is “off contract.” It amazes me that in this profession, you truly make more money if you choose to do a poor job (I’m talking hourly rate here). So, if we’re not getting paid, why do we do it?

The answer, for me at least, is easy. For the kids. We go above and beyond so that we can live up to that ethic that led us to the profession in the first place. We feel a responsibility to provide the best educational experience we can for our students.

The same ethic drives me even now that I’ve left the classroom. I will work longer and harder than I’m being paid for because I want to help students. But, having left the classroom, I found that another element became a part of my ethic. I also want to help educators–teachers, counselors, administrators. I want to do whatever I can to make their jobs easier, so that they can focus on helping kids.

Unfortunately, I sometimes find myself caught between a rock and a hard place, as I was at this meeting. The state board of education requires that certain student requests be processed year-round, even during the summer when there is no one at the school to do it. I coordinate this process for our district. I understand that it is unfair to expect people to work for free. Truth is, we can’t. But I also think it is unfair to delay these student requests, when doing so will delay their admission to college. I don’t have an answer–just frustration at this point.

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make

I had a long meeting (over 2 hours) with my new boss yesterday. It was really helpful to actually talk through the issues of my job, and to have some feedback and guidance. It’s interesting to me that her management style is the direct opposite of her predecessor’s, who had the reputation as a bit of a micro-manager. In contrast, my current boss is laidback and pretty hands-off when it comes to my position. She waits for me to come to her with questions, issues, etc. Most of the time that’s probably a good thing, but I do find myself wishing I had a bit more guidance since I am not only new to this position but also new to the way that the central office “works.”

One of the items on my lengthy agenda yesterday was my vision of what my position might become, one that supports remedial classroom teachers. Of course, the tricky part of that is that there is absolutely ZERO funding for remedial education. No money for supplies, training, nothing. Obviously, any training I provided to them myself would be “free”, but paying for me to get the training to redeliver is obviously not. I admitted to boss lady that at this point I am merely treading water, trying to learn the job and to lay a foundation so that next year I might be in a position to actually help these teachers. It was reassuring that she admitted that she, too, is just trying to survive in her own first year as a director.

I also had an epiphany over the weekend during my trek to Tennessee for graduate school. I have a mental two-year plan that has been gradually taking shape over the last two months–meaning, I plan to remain in my current position for two years. I’ve been flirting with the notion of eventually moving into administration, partly because I find that I miss being part of a school. However, this weekend it suddenly occurred to me that such a move would be settling for me. The things I really enjoy doing are notably absent from the jobs of administrators. I like presenting, teaching, planning to present and teach, and I like doing all of that with and for teachers. I love it when something I shared can make someone else’s professional life easier or their teaching better. I also love working with technology and assisting teachers in integrating that technology into their classrooms.

The dilemma: there is a position in our district that would allow me to do all of the above. I think I would really enjoy it. However, it requires a 240 day contract as opposed to the 191 day contract I currently have. In addition, the pay comes out to roughly $60 per day LESS than I currently make. So I would take a pay cut, and I would work 2.5 months MORE per year. Needless to say, these details make the position less than ideal.

So again, I’m treading water. Keeping my eyes open and focused, my arms and legs gently moving, and hoping to see land soon.

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Kathy Sierra’s latest post resonates with me in a way I’m sure she didn’t intend.

The problem with my new job is that I have entered the Suck Zone.

Moving into a new job is much like upgrading software (the topic of Sierra’s post). And the truth is, most people I know in education choose not to move on (or up) because they don’t want to go back to the Suck Zone.

Teaching is SOOO hard. It takes years (I’d say at least 4) to reach competency–the point at which you no longer feel you are doing irrevocable damage to children on a daily basis.

Once you do reach that level, it’s awfully difficult to choose to sink like a rock to the bottom of the competency spectrum again. In my case, I made that choice last year, and, through no fault of my own, have been forced to start over again this year. And truly, it sucks.

I don’t want to be a person who is wishing away her life. However, I simply cannot wait for the day when I actually know what the hell I’m doing, who I’m doing it for, and why.  On that day, I will bid farewell to the Suck Zone.

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I attended yet another meeting this morning, as well as one yesterday afternoon. Both left me feeling overloaded and also blocked.

I keep reminding myself that at this time last year, I felt much the same. I remember sitting in meetings and thinking, “I have no idea what they’re talking about or what I’m supposed to do about it. Why on earth did they hire me?” I’ve had very similar reactions during most of the meetings I’ve attended so far this year. People refer to my “program” as though there actually is one. Hello? I’m the first person who has ever had this job, which did not exist 23 days ago. The only program I’ve seen evidence of is sketchy compliance with State Board of Education rules regarding remedial services for students.

As I discussed in my last post, one of the difficulties is identifying those students who are at risk and who might qualify for remedial services. It’s not so difficult in the middle schools, where standardized tests are given annually, with results that are broken down by strands and standards. However, in the high schools, there’s a marked lack of standardized testing in general, and even less that yields usable data. While most teachers know who’s in trouble within the first few days of class, what they don’t know is why. What skills or content is the student lacking? What strategies work best to assist that student? What resources are available to assist the teacher in providing the necessary differentiation for these struggling students?

All of these are questions we were charged with answering this morning in my meeting. I posed the possibility of teacher-generated performance assessments, something my old school will implement this year and which Ms. C. also suggested. The problem with such assessments is that 1) they would not be standard and available to all teachers across the district, and 2) they would not have been tested to see that they are indeed valid assessments. As one supervisor remarked, “Bad assessments yield bad data.” So what now?

I’m frustrated. And feeling stuck. Surely any moment now, I’ll have one of those teacher’s epiphanies where the answer floats up from the depths of who knows where. Any. Moment. NOW.

I’m waiting.

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